{"id":17,"date":"2009-07-22T13:17:20","date_gmt":"2009-07-22T13:17:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ride4acure.com.au\/?page_id=17"},"modified":"2009-07-23T13:26:37","modified_gmt":"2009-07-23T13:26:37","slug":"hannahs-story","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/ride4acure.com.au\/?page_id=17","title":{"rendered":"Hannah’s story"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"HannahHannah Rose Luxford-Matthews was born on 2nd May 1988 at Griffith in Western NSW.<\/p>\n

At age 20, on 22nd December 2008, my eldest daughter Hannah Rose died from a malignant melanoma that was initially diagnosed twelve months previously on 26th November 2007. Hannah underwent two rounds of surgery in Dec 2007 and August 2008, and also a month of daily radiation in September\/October 2008 in Sydney under the care of Associate Professor Andrew Spillane from the Sydney Melanoma Unit, after each \u2018round\u2019 Hannah received the \u2018all clear\u2019 and went back to living her life.<\/p>\n

Hannah\u2019s life in 2008 was\u00a0 consisted of being a second year livestock science student, studying externally through University of New England (UNE -Armidale), also working with livestock for Elders Pastoral at their Feedlot in Charlton Victoria and being a very keen competitor in barrel racing at rodeo\u2019s in Victoria and NSW.\u00a0 During the year that Hannah lived with having cancer she continued to live her life fully.\u00a0 She had a beautiful group of friends and work colleagues who valued her enormously and in August 2008 had met her first \u2018serious\u2019 boyfriend and fell in love.<\/p>\n

\"hannahHannah was a graceful, thoughtful, loving, kind, funny and compassionate young woman. A very talented horsewoman, intelligent, down to earth and loved the bush.\u00a0 She tackled having melanoma cancer by taking things one step at a time.\u00a0 She never feared what would happen, but put all of her resources into staying focused on being well and achieving a full recovery from melanoma cancer. Hannah had a positive attitude and kept her sense of humour operating!\u00a0 To Hannah\u2019s very last breath she was \u2018fully alive\u2019 and lived every moment.\u00a0\u00a0 This is the legacy she has left for us, to count our blessings and to live every moment.<\/p>\n

The last three weeks of Hannah\u2019s life were in Melbourne where she was an in and outpatient at the Peter MacCallum Cancer Centre <\/a>under the care of Associate Professor Grant McCarthur.\u00a0 Hannah was receiving chemotherapy and treatment for pain.\u00a0 Hannah had another tumour emerge on the 26th November 2008 which then led her to the Peter Mac Centre where treatment began.\u00a0 It was discovered there that the melanoma had spread to her liver and lung and this meant that surgery wouldn\u2019t be an option anymore and she began what was initially to be a five month chemotherapy program on 2nd December 2008, but ceased after a few weeks as it had no effect on the melanoma.\u00a0 Hannah became a member of the \u2018ontrac@PeterMac\u2019 team which is a youth designated cancer service for adolescents and young adults from 15-25 years of age.\u00a0 This service is world\u2019s best practice in health care and is leading edge.<\/p>\n

Six days before Hannah died she became an inpatient because her pain was out of control. I was with her 24\/7 every step of the way with her cancer journey and up until three days before she died we still held out for a full recovery.\u00a0 We were so hopeful that Hannah\u2019s body would find a way to heal.\u00a0 By the 19th December we were told that the chemotherapy hadn\u2019t had the desired effect and that there was nothing more that could be done medically for Hannah other than pain relief.\u00a0 I do not have the words to describe what that situation is like as a mother to hear that your child will die.\u00a0 Lead by Hannah again we took the road of living every nano second we had. Not to waste a second of it feeling sorry or sad, but really valuing every precious moment, recognising that we never get to relive a second of life once it has passed.\u00a0 So in the last few days of Hannah\u2019s life we were able to take her to Fitzroy Gardens into the sunshine to have a picnic with her dog Hamish surrounded by dozens of her family (Hannah is part of a huge family I am one of nine and Hannah had two dozen first cousins -Hannah loved being part of such a big family and it gave her such strength and support during the hard times).\u00a0\u00a0 and friends that had travelled from Mackay in Qld and Kempsey on the North Coast of NSW and then the day before she died her girlfriends from Charlton in Western Victoria 3 &1\/2 hours from Melbourne, bought her horse, her beloved mare \u2018Lena\u2019 to visit her also. The bond Hannah had with \u2018Lena\u2019 is phenomenal and captured the essence of horse-human relationship and harmony.<\/p>\n

The beauty of Hannah\u2019s last days is indescribable, these simple acts of pleasure and kindness burned into all of our hearts for ever, they were so meaningful and simple and exquisite as we were all aware we would never have these moments again.<\/p>\n

Hannah\u2019s funeral was held in Gisborne Victoria on Christmas Eve 2008 on very short notice. Several hundred friends and family gathered there to celebrate her all to short life (of course including her dogs and horse Lena who lead a pilgrimage walk from the church to the cemetery where Hannah was laid to rest next to her beautiful cousin Max (then aged 9) who died suddenly ten years ago in a traffic accident.<\/p>\n

I returned to my home town in Kempsey Northern NSW at the end of January.\u00a0 We organised a memorial Mass for Hannah here where approximately 600 people came to pay their respects. After the memorial I \u2018stopped\u2019, it was time to rethink my whole life.\u00a0 I am also mother to two other children Esther 18 and Joe 10 and have been a teacher at TAFE since 2001.\u00a0\u00a0 My journey with grief is indescribable; grief is such an infinite, endless emptiness inside that never leaves. I went through the daily actions of living my life.\u00a0 I was looking after Joe, who is in Year 5 and gardening, writing, reading and drawing.\u00a0 Esther was back at work (racing stable foreman & trackwork rider) and external university student (Southern Cross University- Coffs Harbour).<\/p>\n

I couldn\u2019t return to work I was just too empty and had nothing to give anyone.\u00a0 This was at first so hard for me as I am very community minded and have always put my heart and soul into work and community.\u00a0 All of a sudden nothing meant anything to me only my kids and putting one foot in front of the other each day.\u00a0 I kept hearing Hannah\u2019s reminders not to be sad, that she was OK, and that she wanted me to get fit again.\u00a0 This came from 2001 -2006 when I lost 30kgs of weight and got super fit.\u00a0 In 2006 three major things happened to me; I underwent a total hip replacement in Sydney, my mother Marie Luxford died and I separated from my husband),\u00a0 in the year that followed 20 of those kgs crept back on and I\u2019d lost my fitness.\u00a0 While I was in hospital with Hannah last December she mentioned a few times how much she\u2019d like to see me fit again.\u00a0 I promised her I would \u2018get back on the horse\u2019 with that one!<\/p>\n

In the middle of February 2009 (only two short months after Hannah died), I felt impelled into Curves gym in Kempsey.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want to go, but my body was so \u2018lifeless\u2019, I was in a lot of physical pain, had back and hip problems.\u00a0 Generally I felt as if I was full of helium and could float away.\u00a0 This is such a difficult feeling as normally I am very grounded and earthy.\u00a0 I had an interview with one of the trainers and made a written commitment to come to the gym three days a week.\u00a0 Most days in that first month during late February and March I had to force myself there, but all the time was reminded of my promise to Hannah.\u00a0 Most days I cried all the way there (I live 14kms from the gym), and then half the time would be quietly weeping while I was at the gym. But I kept going. By April I was starting to feel stronger and was feeling much happier in my body.\u00a0 My pain in both back and hips had decreased a lot and the weight and cms was melting off me.<\/p>\n

At the beginning of May I bought a new pushbike and started riding a lot and kept increasing my distances. (The whole time I\u2019m riding my bike I feel very close to Hannah.) By June I was riding about 100kms a week, keeping up with my 3 sessions at Curves (riding into the gym and back clocked up 30kms), swimming and stretching and riding my horses again. At the beginning of June I was out on an amazing early morning bike ride at Port Macquarie and was having a rest at the top of a huge hill watching sunrise over the ocean when I was flooded with Joy and was openly weeping with gratitude for having my Life, I felt every cell alive and was keenly aware of how precious life is.\u00a0 I was standing there weeping with Joy watching this magnificent sunrise when I heard a clear invitation to ride my bike to Melbourne to raise money and awareness in regard to adolescent and young adult melanoma. I said out loud \u2018OK I will!\u201d\u00a0 So there began my focused campaign to build my fitness to new heights and to \u2018RIDE4ACURE\u2019 in Hannah\u2019s memory.\u00a0 I am supported by the Peter MacCallum Cancer Centre to undertake this ride and at this stage will leave Kempsey on 19th October 2009 and arrive in Melbourne on 26th November at the PeterMac Cancer Centre.\u00a0 Along the way I will present a melanoma awareness campaign to various high schools en route. The journey is 1500kms and I am aiming to take 6 weeks to complete it. My Road\/back up support crew is made up of family members (mostly Hannah\u2019s young cousins) and friends.\u00a0 I am now up to riding 150 kms a week up and down the Pacific Highway and cross training with aqua aerobics, 3-4 sessions at Curves Gym, 1 hour pilates\/stretch session plus horse riding. I am feeling outrageously healthy!<\/p>\n

In my journey with grief and sorrow getting fitter has been the best medicine for me.\u00a0 My promise to Hannah caused me to get to the gym and on the bike.\u00a0 If I had waited til I \u2018felt\u2019 like going to the gym, I\u2019d still be waiting. Making myself walk through the doors because of a promise I\u2019d made to Hannah and also needing to be the best I could be for my other kids was enough reason to start\u2026..and from this small start ride4acure has emerged\u2026..<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hannah Rose Luxford-Matthews was born on 2nd May 1988 at Griffith in Western NSW. At age 20, on 22nd December 2008, my eldest daughter Hannah Rose died from a malignant melanoma that was initially diagnosed twelve months previously on 26th November 2007. Hannah underwent two rounds of surgery in Dec 2007 and August 2008, and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"parent":2,"menu_order":2,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-17","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ride4acure.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/17","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ride4acure.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ride4acure.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ride4acure.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ride4acure.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=17"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/ride4acure.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/17\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":54,"href":"https:\/\/ride4acure.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/17\/revisions\/54"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ride4acure.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ride4acure.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=17"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}